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Spring 2016 Teams
Team # 1 - Thurston Heller, III, James Adams (G) (White)
Team # 2 - Nice Draft, Pretty Boy, Riley Clayson (G)
Team # 3 - Schueth Fairies, Eric Schue (G) (Black)
Team # 4 - Exxon Vazquez, Victor Vazquez (G)
Team # 5 - How I Ogled Your Mother, Using the Bye Week Goalie
Team # 6 - #prayforparis, Mickey Fried (G)
Team # 7 - Worst Team Ever, Chris Frazier (G)
Rosters
Team # 1 Thurston Heller, III (White)
James Adams (G) - PIF
John Pochinchuk - PIF
Johnny Arceo - PIF
Chris Perez - PIF
Howard Heller - PIF
Sean Daniels - PIF
Chunky Fernandez - PD
Brad Holt - PIF
Joe Stevenson - PIF
Team # 2 Nice Draft, Pretty Boy (Gold)
Riley Clayson (G) - PIF
Augie Artilles - PIF
AJ Artilles - PIF
Mike J. - PIF
Jeff Berman - PIF
Aaron Talone - PIF
Jon Polk - PIF
Bryan Fox - PIF
Javy del Rio - PIF
Team # 3 Schueth Fairies (Black)
Eric Schue (G) - PIF
Raymond Blanco - PIF
Chris Kuckert - PIF
Ray Collada - PIF
Scott Lally - PIF
Frank Avila - PIF
Ozzie Ochoa - PIF
Michael Bernstein - PIF
Greg McNesky - PIF
Team # 4 Exxon Vazquez (Purple)
Victor Vazquez (G) - PIF
Carlos Alcaraz - PIF
Lucas Bocanegra - PIF
Alex Shalloway - PIF
Scott Tartaglia - PD
David Odishoo - PIF
Joslen Pena - PIF
Enzo Caricchio - PIF
Victor Semah - PIF
Team # 5 How I Ogled Your Mother (Navy)
Chris Cabrera - Paid 100
Uned Correa - PIF
Adam Lichtenberg - PIF
Adam Knyscz - PIF
Jerry Caricchio - PIF
Ivan Alvarez - PIF
Nick Ogle - PIF
Alfredo Garcia - PIF
Team # 6 #prayforparis (Silver)
Mickey Fried (G) - PIF
Erwin Acle - PIF
Bryant Paris - PIF
Carlos Novoa - PIF
Polo Molina - PIF
Rick Roque - PIF
Dr. Ben Carson - PIF
Jorge deMoya - PIF
Alfredo Gomez - PIF
Team # 7 Worst Team Ever (Pink)
Chris Frazier (G) - PIF + 25
Hernan Cespedes - PIF
Maria Cespedes - PIF
Eric Pino - PIF
Rod Tefel - PIF
Norm Abril - PIF
Carlos Armada - PIF
David Phillips - PIF
Chris Law - PIF
Spring 2016 Standings - FINAL
W L T
Points GF GA GP
Ogled 6 1 1 13 29 22 8
Thurston 5 2 1 11 39 25 8
Schue 5 3
0 10 47 41 8
Exxon Vazquez 4 4
0 8 32 30
8
#paris 3 4 1 7 34 32
8
Worst Team
1 5 2 4 22 36
8
Pretty Boy 1 6 1
3 34 58 8
Spring 2016 Schedule
Rainout Numbers: 305.282.6845
(Text) 305.254.1094 (Recording)
8:00 9:00
10:00 Bye
Thurs. 1/21 3-4 1-2
5-6 7
Thurs. 1/28
5-7 2-4 1-3
6
Thurs. 2/4
1-4 3-7 2-6
5
Thurs. 2/11 2-5 1-6 4-7
3
Thurs. 2/18 6-7 1-5 2-3 4
Thurs. 2/25
1-7 4-6 3-5
2
Thurs. 3/3
4-5 3-6 2-7
1
Thurs. 3/10
5-6 3-4 1-2
7
Monday 3/14
6-7
Thurs. 3/17
4-7 2-3 1-5
#prayforparis Wins Legends Championship! Team
members - Standing (L-R): Ryan #notJorgedeMoya, who isn't even on the team, but was driving by and thought
it was Open Hockey; Mike Paris, who sold the naming rights in return for promising his teammates he wouldn't play in
the playoffs; Erwin Acle, Esq. who successfully bribed the refs before the game with some really good rum (referee
Alex Shalloway said "That was some good shit!); Bryant Paris, Attorney at Law, who threatened to sue
league officials in the event of an unfavorable outcome; Carlos Novoa, U.S. Customs, who threatened to deport his own
goalie (name withheld) if he didn't play well. Kneeling (L-R): Alfredo Gomez,
who conveniently fails to mention that all three of his goals were scored when the lights were out; goalie Mickey Fried, whose
Twitter handle is @Fatfuck; Polo Molina, who provided the championship hats and shirts the players are seen wearing. Not
pictured: Rick Roque, who didn't play much all season but did pay his league fee on time - and really,
isn't that what Suniland Hockey was all about?
Worst 10 Moments in Over 30 Draft History:
***NEW # 1 - Chunky Fernandez hosts first 'Bum Draft' by starting bonfires, while
J.D. Barbosa fueled the fire by shooting free throws of the actual draft sheets into the fires. Finally, we all stood
around and sang Christmas carols as an old Christmas tree was set ablaze. Police charges are still pending.
1. Chris Kuckert turns his back to get a beer and - upon his return - is notified
that he has been awarded the Marble Rye trio...Cary Cass, Mike Paris and Rick Roque.
2. Othon trotting alongside Stuckey's car at 1:30 am trying to suggest another
trade - as Stuckey just rolled up the window and pulled away until Othon could no longer keep up.
3. Ty Martinez selects Troy Maness with his first-round selection, sending Troy into
a fit of anger, marked by the sudden squealing of tires as he left the draft.
3-B. Chris Frazier ties Brad Holt's record of being picked last in the draft
5 consecutive seasons.
4. Chris Kuckert and Ray Collada pick the same players for the 8th year in
a row, hoping the season results will somehow be better this time around.
5. Stuckey throws tantrum, tearing down all of the draft sheets and kicking Othon
out of the draft.
6. Dave Holt picks defenseman Howard Heller in the first-round, then says "Now,
I need some guys who will put the puck in the net." His next two picks...Norm Segall and Brad Holt. (That team finished
0-8.)
7. Othon tries to draft every available goalie, then use them as trade bait.
8. Othon drafts - then attempts to trade - entire team.
9. Parking lot brawl erupts over the draft rights to a traffic cone
goalie instead of having to use Frazier.
10. Jose Merlo selects Alex Shalloway with his first-round pick.
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